We are Queens. We carry the weight of the world on our shoulders. We take care of everyone else. We are the nurturers in our household, we work jobs, run businesses and go to school. We are black women. We are strong, and independent because that’s how many of us were raised. Long gone are the days when we were taught to depend on a man to take care of us. We hold our heads up, even when our crowns become the heaviest, and rarely do we ask for help.
It’s important for us to get to a place where we allow ourselves to be vulnerable enough to ask for help. Asking for help may look different depending on the situation. Sometimes it may be that we need someone to listen to us vent after having a bad day. There are other times that we may be in a tight space financially and need to borrow money until we get paid. Asking our loved ones or family members who we trust for those things is okay to do, it doesn’t make us weak or less capable of continuing to hold things down.
Letting our guards down to ask for help is freeing and can help the next woman free herself of perpetuating the idea that she is doing great all the time. The truth is, we all experience challenges and hardships and during these times having the support we need helps to reduce stress, anxiety, and feelings of inadequacy. We have to put our pride aside because everyone needs someone, sometimes. Make sure you are making time to tap into your support circle. With the hustle and bustle of everyday living, sometimes it’s more convenient to only tap in when things are going bad.
When great things happen in our lives, we need people to share those moments with and who better than the ones who are always there to support us? Sometimes my friends and I have to force one another to schedule a day on the calendar to have a girl’s day out because we are always busy working or doing something for our families. I’m a teacher, so many times I’m working, grading papers, and creating lesson plans when I’m off the clock. However when I make time for my support system I always come back to my work feeling refreshed and rejuvenated.
I love being a black woman and having the conversations that I can only have with my sistas, from details about the latest products for our curly, coily, kinky hair, to sharing our southern home-cooked meal recipes and discussing the newest fashion trends. My friends are my sistas and they keep me level-headed, inspired, and encouraged. It’s empowering to have a support circle to remind you that they are there for you and you don’t always need to have all the answers. I have solid family members but my sistas are the family that I’ve chosen and life without them would be so much harder.